Do you want to live a happier life? Maybe this sounds familiar: Something’s off. Maybe you’re utterly unhappy with the way things are, or it’s only a more subtle feeling you can’t quite put your finger on that will not leave you be. Am I close? If so, I’ve got something for you that will get you started on your way to living a happier life.
Have you heard of the Wheel of Life or Life Wheel before?
The one I’m referring to is used in Life Coaching, not the Buddhist one.
The Wheel of Life is a tool that gives you an overview of the different areas of your life, also called helicopter view. By doing so, it makes it very clear which area(s) of your life could do with a bit of improvement.
It is usually used during the first coaching session to assess the areas that could do with some improvement and again later to look at the improvements in those areas. Like this, the client has a good visual comparison of how far he/she has come since the coaching began.
Not everybody is ready for professional help.
And yet sometimes you just know that something needs to change for you to live a happier life.
The good news is that you can use this tool on your own as well. It will be helpful to give you an overview.
Get clarity
Whichever it is, the Wheel of Life is a tool that can be very helpful in figuring out where you are in your life right now and where to make some changes for the better.
Utterly unhappy?
If this is you, there are probably obvious reasons you feel that way. You may think something like: What do I need that blooming wheel for? It’s quite obvious what’s not going according to plan in my life.
Make no mistake by dismissing it too quickly. This exercise can be useful to you nonetheless. How? Bear with me, I’ll get to that shortly.
Subtle recurring nudges of discontent?
OK, you’re not that bad, but that feeling of discontent keeps popping up regularly? Maybe you’re thinking something like:
“There’s nothing wrong with my life, really. Actually, in comparison, I have a pretty good life. I don’t want to be ungrateful.”
I totally get that. It almost makes you feel bad or greedy to want more or something better, when so many others are far worse off. And you’re probably right. Nothing is that wrong. And yes, I’m sure you have a lot to be grateful for.
But still, that feeling isn’t going anywhere for long. You can rest assured, it will be back before too long, nudging you again, and again, and again. Telling you that something’s gotta give. That there is room for improvement. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to live a happier life. But where to start? Beats you.
How to use the Wheel of Life?
Maybe you are wondering what you need the wheel for if you already have the list above? Couldn’t you just jot down the answers on a piece of paper and be done with it? Sure, you could do that too.
The wheel however is the more visual way of showing you how bumpy or smooth the ride you’re on is or would be on if that wheel would actually roll.
Come again?
Well, the idea is to rate every aspect of your life. You’re doing this by marking the scale of each part of your life between the numbers 1 and 10, depending on where you feel you are at that moment in time – 1 being the worst, and 10 being the best.
As mentioned in the beginning, it’s also very handy to measure your progress after a while when you have worked on the wanting areas. But don’t be hasty. You’d want to give it about two, maybe even three months.
Have a very close look at your life.
The list below will give you an idea of the key areas you want to have a close look at to get that living-a-happier-life-thing started. But, of course, it is not limited to these areas. More on that later.
Go deep when looking at the different aspects of your life if you don.
Relationships:
Romance:
Are you in a romantic relationship and it is un/happy…?
Are you not in a romantic relationship and I love/hate it…?
Family:
Do you have a family? If yes, are you close, don’t get on at all, or somewhere in between…?
Friendships:
Do you have many acquaintances, a few close friends, or maybe even none at all…?
Other:
And, what about your neighbors, church parish, volleyball team, colleagues/boss…?
Physical environment:
Home:
Is the paint coming off the walls, is it too dark, no plants…?
Work:
How is the desk area? Is it bright enough, sufficiently ventilated, the noise level is fine…?
Other:
Other places you spend a lot of time at. Do you volunteer…?
Well-being:
Physical:
How well in shape are you? Do you have an illness/aches…?
Mental:
Do you feel sad a lot? Do you like yourself? Are you happy with who and where you are in your life…?
Nutrition:
What do you eat/drink? Is it healthy or is it usually heavily processed, ready-made, deep-fried, sugary?
Alcohol:
Do you not touch the stuff at all, enjoy a few drinks now and then, start craving for it once the hand on your watch goes past 5 pm?
Finances:
Savings:
Do you have a nest-egg or savings/are you well-off?
Dept:
Do you have a mortgage, a loan, or some other debt like several credit cards…?
Money management:
Are you barely making ends meet even though you work three jobs or is it more like you would have enough money, would you know
how to manage it a bit better.
Recreation/Leisure:
Hobbies:
Do you have anything you’re really interested in? Or do you spend your spare time in front of the TV every night?
Socializing:
Do you go out or stay in and meet others? Are you mostly by yourself? Are you missing social contacts?
Travel/ change of scenery:
Do you get out at all? Are you at home all the time and only go out if you absolutely have to? Or are you traveling for work a lot and wish you could stay at home in your spare time if it weren’t for your family waiting for you to come home so you can go to places?
places?
Work/Career:
Job:
Do you currently hold a job? If so, do you like/hate it? What is it you like/hate about it? Maybe you are self-employed. What do you like/hate about it?
Goals:
Do you have goals and are progressing towards them?
Job hunting:
Are you looking for a job? What is your experience with that?
Self-improvement/personal growth:
New skills:
Do you read or take classes to learn new things/skills?
Habits:
Do you have any bad ones you’d like to shake or is there one you would like to pick-up because it would benefit you?
Giving forwarded:
Are you volunteering or helping others in another way?
Spirituality:
How do you feel about your spirituality?
In case you’re not sure:
The definition of it in the Collins dictionary says, “Spiritual means relating to people’s thoughts and beliefs, rather than to their bodies and physical surroundings.” So, this is not limited to any one religion.
Two (or more) birds with one stone
Some issues can be connected, and some of those connections are more obvious than others.
Often we don’t realize how the different parts of our lives are connected with each other. Like how an issue in one area can have a domino effect on other areas. And what’s more, how by taking care of one thing the other(s) will automatically improve as well.
Possible connection:
Let’s say you graded your finances 5, work/career 3, and marriage 6 because you lost your job three months ago and are now missing one income. The emergency fund you had saved up is almost used up.
You and your spouse are fighting a lot about money. He thinks it wasn’t necessary for you to get your nails done and you don’t know why he thought you could afford for him to go out for a few pints on Friday after work…
You probably know where this is going.
Four weeks later you land a job. You’re happy there, like what you do, and your new colleagues are great. Then your first paycheck comes in and you can pay off a good chunk of the credit card debt that was built up after the emergency fund was used up. Because it’s been so long, you and the hubby indulge in a romantic evening at your favorite restaurant. After all, you have to live a little too. After two weeks you notice that you haven’t had an argument about money in a while now.
You probably see how it was all connected. Because of the job loss, you had some financial issues, which lead to arguments. Finding the job (work/career) led to sorting out the financial issues (finance), which in turn created fewer reasons to argue (marriage).
This may be a more obvious example, but I’m sure you get the idea. This exercise can also be beneficial in areas you don’t even connect with the issue you plan to tackle yet. The root cause might not be that obvious.
Using it properly in this context means that you need to be honest with yourself when you are doing this exercise. I cannot stress this enough. If you are not honest with yourself, it will be a waste of time.
Therefore, it’s important that you make enough time for yourself to go through this. It’s time well invested, the outcome you aim for is to live a happier life.
Don’t rush it.
You don’t want to waste your precious time by trying to get through this as quickly as possible. Sounds like a bit of a contradiction? Not at all. Here’s why:
When you go through this exercise, you want to take your blinders off. And yes, that can be uncomfortable. The more uncomfortable it is, chances are that it is all the more necessary for your way forward.
It’s so tempting to blurt out the answer you would want it to be, one you feel comfortable with. And then just get on with it, to the next part.
Yes, it would be a much easier approach for sure. But at the same time, it would have zero benefits. It would be a total waste of your time. So, bite the bullet, and enjoy the clarity you will gain after you have finished the exercise.
Give yourself at least 30 minutes.
This is not a yes or no kinda questionnaire. It’s a tool to help you get clarity of which areas of your life need some improvement for you to be happier/more content. You do this by looking at your current life situation as a whole.
For example:
If you are looking at your relationship status, don’t just answer whether you are in a relationship with yes or no. Do that and then investigate if you are un/happy and what the reasons might be. But don’t analyze it yet. Just note the results you come up with and move to the next part. This could be something like, you are unhappy because you and your partner haven’t had sex in a while. Note that and then move on.
These areas all play an important role in our human lives. Some more than others, depending on your personality and values.
The weight of their importance can also change from time to time as we as a person change over the years. This is important to know. After all, this is not a once and done tool to use. You can use this over and over again to always be on top of your game.
Remember, we grow/change as a person over time:
Here’s what I mean by that:
In times of grief, for instance, we are probably much more focused on our family and friends than we are on eating healthy, working out, or getting ahead in our career. But again, that’s different for everyone.
And, I am sure most of you have different values now than you had 10, 20, 30 years ago. For instance, my top priorities during my teens were my boyfriend and hanging out with him and my friends. I took my family for granted and didn’t think too much about how I could contribute to a happy home. Whereas now family comes out on top.
Over time, you grow personally, which makes a difference in how you view things. For example, I only learned about the importance of properly reflecting on myself when I was in my forties. I know, right? What an immense waste of opportunities. If I would bang my head on the wall for every missed chance to make a relationship better through proper reflection, I’d probably be unconscious for a good while. As that wouldn’t help anyone, I don’t. Since I started to reflect on when situations need improving, I live a much happier life.
Next step after you have completed the Wheel of Life:
Have a look at the shape of your wheel.
- Which are the parts you rated the highest, which are the lowest?
- Do any of the ratings surprise you?
- Which of the areas you rated low are the most important ones for you?
- Is there one thing you can immediately think of that you can do to make the first step to improve one of those areas? It can be something tiny, like looking up a phone number. After all, every little helps.
- What would perfect 10 look like in each area?
Note the answers to those questions, so you have them at the ready when you start working towards living your happier life.
Other areas to use it for:
The usefulness of the Wheel of Life is not limited to the areas mentioned above.
You can also apply it to find out ways to improve other specific areas of your life like
-
Yourself – I know, this might sound strange, but you could apply the Wheel of Life to find out more about what you can/would like to improve about yourself. These might be physical appearance, health, self-esteem/confidence, education, decisiveness…
- Work /volunteering – physical environment, communication, management/leadership, payment, organization, goals…
You now know
- What the Wheel of Life is.
- How it can benefit you to live a happier life.
- How to use it.
- To take your time and not rush through this to get the most out of it.
- That it is crucial, to be honest with yourself, to make it worth your while.
- To use the guideline above as a reference as prompts on what to ask yourself about the particular area. Remember, if you can think of other questions, go for it.
Put it into practice.
Have a successful clarity-finding-session with this tool.
And maybe you have noticed that in your own life, too: A lot of times we take the focus off of something as soon as things run smoothly. Well, until they stop. Luckily with this tool you can check in with yourself to make sure your ride through life will be as smooth as possible..
So, make sure you maintain that wheel of yours and keep it in a nice round shape. It’s probably needless to say, but I am still saying it to eliminate any possible misunderstandings: You want to maintain that round shape in the 8 – 10 area wherever possible.
The following posts can be helpful for your next steps:
In case you have a question/something’s not clear, give me a shout.
Or just let me know how you’re getting on taking your first steps towards your goal, to live a happier life. Drop me an email or share in the comments. Whichever you’re more comfortable with.
As always, have a lovely day!
Renate xx
