Blog

Do you believe that happiness is a decision we make? I do, very strongly. And I have found that practicing gratefulness is a powerful tool and greatly benefits us on our way to or maintaining our happiness.

Make the good things in life your focus.

I am also a firm believer in focusing on the good things in life. Meaning, I prefer to look for the solution, not the problem. Why? Because it serves me a lot better. When I have a problem, I usually don’t have to look for it, it presents itself uninvited. So, why looking for more? It is much more beneficial for my wellbeing to accept the challenge at hand and look for a solution to it. The main benefits are that

A) Our energy goes to what our focus is on, and B) It makes us feel better if we stir our thoughts and attention towards positive things.

By no means am I asking you to become ignorant or bottle everything up in order to be happy. Not at all. I know ignorance can be bliss at times, but that has nothing to do with what I’m on about here. And to bottle up the things you worry about can in the worst case be deadly. I know, if you have already slipped down into that whole it’s kinda hard to find your way back out. So I’m not implying that it’s easy-peasy to bring your focus to the good things. But it’s sooo worth it. What I’m asking you to do, is to shift your focus. Become more aware of the things you already have in life and all the good that happens every day.

Stop moping, right now!

It can be a lot easier to mope about things we don’t have or times we feel we were treated unfairly. But how does that serve anyone? Sure, we all need to vent every now and then and sometimes we get hit really hard.  What I am talking about is the everyday goings-on. Like the bus that took off without us even though the driver surely must have seen us. Being caught in the rain without an umbrella. The vase that was dropped and shattered into a thousand pieces. And so on, the list could probably be close to endless. Think about it for a second and be honest with yourself. What are you more likely to talk about afterward?

• Would you be more likely giving out about the bus driver who took off without you? Or would you be praising the bus driver who waited that little while longer for you before, even though you were late?
• Would you be complaining about how your hair was ruined after you got caught in the rain? Or would you be telling others about your acquaintance giving you a lift when they saw you standing/walking there all wet?
• Would you be going on about how valuable the vase was you dropped? Or would you tell your friends how your hubby/daughter/son comforted you for a while and picked up the duster to clean the mess up for you?

Thought so. The purpose of the gratefulness log is for you to practice intentionally looking for the good and positive things in life. The good things you have and those that do happen (yes, also to you) all the time.

Start practicing your gratefulness muscles and reap the benefits!

Here’s what you want to do:

• Grab a piece of paper or a notebook and a pen.
• Write down the date and how you feel. Like this, you have a bit of a comparison when you look back after a few weeks.
• Think of 5 things/people that you are grateful for and write them down.
• If possible, also write about why you are grateful for them.

I personally think that it has the biggest effect if you take note of what you’re grateful for right before you go to sleep.  Like this, you will fall asleep with positive thoughts on your mind. And then have a look at it again in the morning after you get up so you will start your day on a positive note. Also, if you have a bit of an off day, you can browse your log in order to lift yourself up a notch or two.

There’s no limit of things to be grateful for.

Of course, you don’t have to limit yourself to stop as soon as you have written down 5 things you’re grateful for. If you want to write more, happy days. Knock yourself out. When I first tried this, the instruction said to write down 100 (I kid you not) things one is grateful for. Every day!!!! After a few days of sleep deprivation, I was about to give up. It felt like a chore and was just a wee bit OTT, for an exercise after which I was supposed to feel good. No, I didn’t give it up. In order to stick with it, I brought it down to a much more achievable number of a minimum of 5 things I was grateful for each day.  I am fairly sure that even on your worst of days there would be a minimum of at least 3 log entries you could come up with which you are grateful for. The trick is, that we should never take the good in our life for granted. No matter how basic they seem.

A few examples in case you have a gratefulness blackout:

The roof over your head. You work hard for your money to pay your rent/mortgage on time. So, of course, we tend to take the safe havens we come back to each day for granted. We earn them. For most of us, they have always been there and there was never a question about it. Do you want to go even more basic? OK, how about the ability to breath or walk? We hardly ever even think about it. Unless we maybe have a cold, twist our ankle or see someone else in a wheelchair or with an oxygen tank. I guess by now you have figured out where I’m going with this. Exactly, gratitude or gratefulness benefits you greatly if you practice it on a regular basis. Your live can be happier and more content if you on your blessings on a regular basis instead of taking everything for granted. And with that mindset, it will get easier and easier to come up with stuff you can populate your gratefulness log with. To give you a bit of an idea and to keep you and myself on the positive track I will be posting my gratefulness log here. So, just follow the link and have a look. Now, go ahead and write away. Log those good things in your life keep making yourself aware of them. Let me know how you’re getting on and if you have any questions. I would really be interested in what it is you are grateful for. If you would like to share please leave a comment.